A Powerful Celebration in Bali

By Sharon Hornstein

Even though it happened about six years ago, my trip to Bali impacts my life to date. I saw people gather together in a way that I had never seen in the States. Or anywhere else. The man being cremated had died the year before. Because they believe that we are reborn to the same community that we lived in, they believe in throwing a huge party for the people therein. There was much celebration, with music, offerings of colorful clothing and bountiful fruit, and a generous party of food and drink. The reason the ceremony happened a year after the man's death was because the family needed to save enough money to provide this party for the community. An infant was also cremated at that time. The people grieved for both, but in a spirit of celebration at the same time. The bodies were cremated along with the offerings. Two elegant elderly women then sifted through the doused ashes to remove any larger fragments of bone, which were gently wrapped and put aside. The cremains were placed in a large, wide bowl and set atop a tall ornately decorated structure that rode on two long poles. Family members (and friends?) lifted the whole thing onto their shoulders and took off down the road to the river. Because they did not want the deceased to be stuck here or come back too soon, they twirled and swayed as they walked to confuse the deceased. And because they had been enjoying the drinking portion of the ceremony, I was afraid it all was going to come crashing down as their swaying and weaving on the road became more and more exagerated.

Now what I took away from all this was a profound sense of community coming together in support of the family, and the family's joy in providing such a wonderful celebration. They had had time to grieve the man's departure, but also present was the fresh grief for the infant. It was all there. Grief, comraderie, celebration, amidst tears and laughter. All there on one afternoon. I want more of that.

There's oftentimes such a sterility in our funeral services. People not showing much emotion in the services I've been present in in my past...wouldn't it be wonderful to have permission to weep and laugh, sing and cheer, sob and sway?! And without fear of seeming odd or uncouth! Just to let it all hang out. I know other cultures allow this as well. I would love a ceremony where my friends and family and community at large could congragate in such a way as to allow whatever feelings are present to express. What a gift!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sharon_Hornstein